My ex died from what I can only imagine was a drug overdose on August 10, 2014; the same time frame in which I found out my mother has breast cancer and about a month after I got raped. (Yes. I got raped this summer.)
By the push of my therapist, I joined a recovery program and became sober on August 28th, 2014. I plan on staying sober for the rest of my life (drugs/alcohol/etc.) Once I hit September 28th, it’ll mark the first time I’ve been sober (without drugs or alcohol) for one month in over six years. Once I hit February 28th, it’ll mark the first time I’ve been sober for six months since I was 18.
So, instead of perpetuating a vicious eight-year cycle of numbing myself and putting myself in dumb or dangerous situations (and surrounding myself with toxic people) in order to avoid pain (or loneliness), bringing about even more pain and ruining friendships and relationships, causing me to self-destruct a little more, I’m living through it and forgiving myself for the past me. I’m being pro-active and learning to respect myself (and to be okay on my own). I’m bringing really good, positive people into my life. I love myself for that. I’m learning to love and trust myself for the first time in nine years.
Norman Cousins (via picsandquotes)